Love is a Battlefield
by Monoui
Summary: Once you've started fighting with someone, it's often hard to stop. It's just unfortunate that Kagome and Inuyasha started fighting in the midst of his attempt to confess his feelings...
1. Chapter 1

AN: Well, this is my second attempt at a fanfic, and it's a oneshot because I really don't have a smidgen of plot in my being. Just wondering, but does anyone else find that long, chaptered fics are unspeakably daunting? Anyway, please enjoy and review!

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It was a lovely day in the Sengoku Jidai period. The sky spread above the earth was a brilliant blue with barely a cloud in sight, there was a gentle breeze blowing, and 739 miles away, a certain toad youkai was being used as a football.

Of course, our two main characters were blissfully unaware of that last. Unfortunately, from where they were sitting side by side on the top of a hill, that was all that was blissful...

"I love you, damn it!" Inuyasha immediately dropped his gaze after his outburst. The butterflies were having a fucking rampage in his stomach, and Kagome's prolonged silence wasn't helping any.

"I-Inuyasha?" Kagome whispered.

He snuck a cautious glance at her through his hair and cursed silently when he saw the tears threatening to fall. "Yeah?"

"SIT! SIT SIT SIT!!!"

"Argh! What the hell was that for, bitch?!"

"You baka!" screamed Kagome. "SIT! Why didn't you tell me so earlier? Why did you wait five years? You idiot, DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME THAT WAY??"

By this time, the sits had long since worn off. "How the hell was I supposed to know what you were thinking? It's not like you said anything! I'm not a fucking mind reader!" Inuyasha roared back.

"Then how come everyone else knew? You were always so wrapped up in Kikyo, no wonder you never noticed!" Kagome said, her eyes prickling with the return of the tears.

Inuyasha groaned. "Kikyo doesn't have anything to do with this! I already told you I fucking love you, what more do you want? Wait a minute..." His amber eyes narrowed sharply as something occurred to him. "Everyone else knew about you feeling like that?" _And Miroku didn't tell me?_ He turned abruptly and began walking off.

Kagome screamed at his retreating form, "Don't you turn your back on me, Inuyasha! I'm not done with you yet-"

"Well I'm done with this conversation," he snapped back, before muttering under his breath, "I'm going to fucking kill Miroku." _It's his bloody fault for suggesting I tell her in the first place... lecherous monk._

"Stop, Inuyasha!" she called. When Inuyasha showed no sign of slowing, she said the first thing that came to mind, "Sit!"

Little flurries of dust rose up as Inuyasha went down, cursing all the way. Kagome knelt beside him, ignoring the glare he turned on her. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha," she said, "but I didn't know how else to get you to stop..."

"How about fucking asking?" Inuyasha wasn't a happy inuhanyou at all. It'd taken him weeks to finally put his feelings on the line and what had she done? Fucking lectured him. And now he'd found out that apparently _everyone_ had known about Kagome's feelings concerning him... except him.

Feelings which didn't contain the words "I" and "love" and "you".

Kagome nearly growled. "Damn it, Inuyasha, will you just shut up and listen to me?"

He stared at her, eyes wide. It seemed he wasn't the only one pissed off, if Kagome was willing to swear at him. Turning his face away, Inuyasha muttered, "Keh. Make me, bitch."

"God!" she exclaimed. "Why do you have to be so _stubborn_?! I'm just trying to tell you that I love you and you won't even let me speak!"

There was a lot more, but Inuyasha didn't hear any of it. Instead, one phrase was stuck on replay inside his head: _I love you..._

Kagome was still raging at him when he sat up and grabbed her wrist. Tugging her into his lap, he murmured into her ear, "Shut up, Kagome," and proceeded to demonstrate by putting his mouth to better use.


	2. Chapter 2

Boy, these two really don't know how to stop, do they? Even if I, as the author, am the one making them do this... heh... They're just too amusing to leave alone... especially Inuyasha. Really, does any Inuyasha fanfic writer _not_ have the urge to torture our little Inu-kun, at least a little?

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_Eleven months later..._

"Hey, hey, don't faint on me, woman!" He said, gently shaking Kagome by the shoulders.

She shoved him away and knelt shakily on her hands and knees in the dust. "I'm not... fainting... you... idiot," she panted. "I'm in pain! Kaede's... we've got to get -"

The rest of her words were lost as Inuyasha snatched up his mate and ran off in a whirlwind reminiscent of Kouga's. "Just hold on Kagome, it'll be okay. I've got you," he murmured into her hair.

_A short while later..._

"I HAAATE YOU, INUYASHAA!!!" she screamed from within the house. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOT ME PREGNANT, SO WHY CAN'T YOU BE THE ONE TO FUCKING GIVE - ah! Oh God... ohh..."

"Push, Kagome-san... that's it... push," murmured the midwife who'd been fetched. She had been advised beforehand by Kaede to ignore any strange behaviour from the young woman and her hanyou mate. So far, it had proved sound advice.

"BITCH, YOU THINK IT'S SO FUCKING EASY TO LISTEN TO YOU SCREAM LIKE A STUCK PIG?" came the roar from the other side, where Inuyasha was occupying himself by carving all the trees to splinters. Despite his words, his white ears were swivelled in the direction of the house.

He added, "And it's called 'with pup', not pregnant, woman!"

When Kagome's only response was to moan in pain, he twitched and the next tree met a particularly violent end.

A moment later Kagome had recovered enough to scream, "I don't care what it's called, it hurts like hell! The moment I get out of here, you are a DEAD MAN, do you hear me, Inuyasha? I'm going to make it so you'll never get me pregnant again!"

"Watch your mouth, woman! Do you want the pup to learn words like that before it's even born?"

"YOU'RE ONE TO TALK, YOU HYPOCRITE! SIT! SIT! SIT!!!"

A soft voice murmured encouragingly from within, "That's it, Kagome-san. We can see the head, now. Just a little more."

"STOP THAAAT!!" Or at least, that's what Inuyasha meant to say. What came out was more along the lines of "GROPH FAAAT!!" Eating dirt sure did deter your ability to talk coherently.

There was deadly silence, broken only by the pained pants coming from inside the house. Inuyasha finally managed to lift his head out of the dust, wondering what was taking Kagome so long to respond.

Finally, she asked, her voice calmly deliberate, "Did you just call me fat, Inuyasha?"

"He's done it now," Sango said to Miroku, sighing. They had both wisely retreated to a position well away from both the house and Inuyasha.

"Now wait a minute, bitch, where'd you get -"

"_Did you just call me fat, Inuyasha?_"

Shippo hid behind Sango's shoulder, muttering, "Kagome's scary!"

"What - no!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

Kagome took a deep breath.

"I can't believe you would say something like that, Inuyasha! In case you forgot, I'm not fat, I'M FUCKING PREGNANT, YOU BAKA! SIT, SIT, SIIIIIIIIT!!!"

In the aftermath of the newly created Inuyasha-crater the group heard the midwife say cheerfully, "Congratulations, Kagome-san, it's a boy!"


End file.
